Rollercoaster Week

This week has been challenging on many levels. I'm one of the shyest people around
when it comes to dating. In fact, I just don't date at all which is the problem. I don't
really know where I'm going to take them in this small town if, and I do mean IF, I
do muster up the courage to ask one out.

I was fortunate enough to talk to a really great friend about it earlier this week and she
helped out a lot. We got a few new ladies hired for seasonal and so, naturally, I will get
my hopes up that A) They are single and B) How to go about asking her out. One of them,
Kaetlynn, and the Head Cashier already went out on a date and the next thing you know their
FB status quickly changed to "in a relationship," so that means it's official in today's society.

Wow! That is just crazy! It's amazing how quick it works for other people. I guess if you
know then you know but that is just super quick. I usually have stages and I will share them
with you.

1. First, I start to ask around to see if the girl has a boyfriend.
2. If no then I start talking and maybe flirting.
3. Then I start thinking about places I might take her to and how to go about asking her out.
4. By this time someone is already going on a date with them and I have to start all over or
wait until the next crop of seasonal ladies are hired to begin the process all over again.

That is how boring this town is. Everyone is already taken so when singles move in it's like
a herd of water buffaloes heading to a watering hole in the desert. All the single guys and gals
are like that here. I'm not making that up. Ask around. :P My mother is always on me about
getting some more grandkids so I try as I may but I'm extremely crippled by my shyness. It's
not so easy to overcome but it's reaching the point where I'm going to have to take more risks.
That's the advice my friend gave me. I'm going to have to go in guns blazing and see if I can
get out of my comfort zome and make something happen.

Here's another thing. My mom is always fond of saying "if she doesn't have a ring on her finger
then you should steal her away if you have to." I understand what she is trying to say but I'm
determined to do things the right way and I wouldn't want my girlfriend "stolen" like that if it
were me so I don't feel comfortable doing that. Yeah, I know that sounds lame but I must stick
to my guns and do things the way I feel they need to be handled and things should eventually
turn out okay.

I'm happy for Derek as he deserves a good gal, especially since the last one broke up with him
via text messege. Yikes! I'm glad I don't have that on my phone. Like I said, this has been one
of my ever increasing rollercoaster weeks where I'm happy one day and then something will
happen and then I'm depressed for a few days.

I sometimes don't feel acknowledged by one of my friends. I'm sure it's all in my head but
sometimes they say or do things that make me question how much they value our friendship.
It really bothers me because I feel that my contributions to their life have been disregarded
or that their value is not viewed in the same light. That's hard to say because I feel we have
something very special....something worth fighting for. I can't really see my life without this
friend in it somehow yet they can really frustrate me sometimes...but I probably do the same to
them so, for the sake of being fair, I must say that I'm not the easiest person to be friends with.
I can be a pain in the ass.

Everything else is going alright I guess. I checked on the package I sent to Kuwait and it has
been dispatched! I'm so excited as the gal, we'll call her Luni because she is so wacky, has
absolutely NO IDEA that I'm sending her a teddy bear complete with roses and a Valentine's
Day card!!! I usually get to talk to her via skype and MSN when she can. Her laptop really
sucks and disconnects her a lot. She is worried and sad to go back to that big kitty litter box
but will be totally suprised to see what's waiting on her! I just hope she likes it.

I think I have things going in the right direction. I will be making lots of changes this year. 2010
was bad...the whole thing. 2011 was a little better but turned bad in the last few months. I'm
wanting to keep 2012 good but that's going to take work. I think I can do it.

-Thork