Well, there has been a recent epidemic of break-ins this past week. Some folks came home down the road from us and their place had been ransacked. Earlier, they had kicked down the door of the Youngblood place but ran away when Mrs. Youngblood started screaming. There wasn't cars at the house so I guess they figured no one was at home. That tells me a few things.
A) They're staking out places.
B) They are not trying to kill anyone.
C) They suck at timing.
and D) I got a little sumthing sumthing waiting on them.
Haha...hahaha...Mu hahaha AH Hahahahaha! *blushes* Well, we think it's this maroon SUV
seen in the area so we are looking out for anything suspecious.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Accents and Gummi Snacks
Well, today started out alright enough. The previous night, I called Huggy Bears and made sure
that they could send teddy bears and stuff to people in the military. It took like 5 minutes for
them to call back and tell me how to proceed and I completed my order. I'm excited and hope that
the person I sent it too really likes it. She's a wonderful person and friend. This is going to be a
great year even though I have so many bad days. Maybe this year I can have a few good ones. It
makes me feel good to do something that makes someone smile and feel good about themselves
because I usually don't feel that way about myself. More on this later.
I want to keep this blog open to my friends and I guess just anyone really. I may withhold names so
as to protect the people I care about but you will get the idea....hell, I might even make up names
for them myself. This is basically going to be an insight into my world and everything that
flows through my head. I go through times of depression and then I snap out of it for a little while
with the help of good friends and family. I don't really have a very close friend though. I would
really like that. Maybe, in time, we'll both understand a little bit more about just who I am and
we can appreciate it for what it is. I'd say that all of my close friends have been found online at
a little place called Dragonmount. I have so many mixed feelings about that wonderful place.
On the one hand, I have met some wonderful people that have made me smile and feel a little
better about things in life. It's also brought it's share of sad times but you know what? If there is
one thing that you will learn very quickly about me is that I never give up no matter what happens.
The word doesn't exist. Perspective is everything in life and I know that my purpose is to be as
much of a blessing to people as I possibly can.
I do sometimes feel very isolated even though there are people around me saying wonderful things.
I somehow always find a way to keep myself from joining in fully due to not feeling that I'm
really apart of something. Essentially, my warped brain keeps telling me there is one big party and
I'm not invited so.....I crash it instead. :) I enjoy those times when I'm involved and then wonder
back off until I feel adventurious again. I know it's there when I want to come back but, for me,
the safest place to be is in the wild or in nature watching from afar. Not that I'm not clever or
witty and maybe sometimes I'm even charming...usually those are just masks. I'm the comedian,
the dancer, the ice cream man, the nice guy, the fun guy, this, that, and the other but none of it
is truly all of who I am. Underneath, there lies a deep ocean of a person that even I'm just now
fully understanding. Underneath...there is still a lot of hurt and anger and sadness from everything
in life. I have a temper that can both burn red hot and freeze like a Winter breeze. I can be calm
and quiet and warm when I'm with my friends and feeling in tune with them. I keep people at a
distance in general and even my friends are so close yet so far away due to nothing they've said or
did. It's just me.
The highlight of my year was when I received 13 Christmas cards from all over the world. That
really meant a lot to me and so I read them when I'm having a bad day to remind myself of just
how lucky I am to have such people care enough about me to do that. I even got a present from
someone without even asking for it. As I said, this could be a very good year as I feel a lot more
at ease and not so blah blah all the time. God, I know how my friends get so damn tired of hearing
it. I know I would but I continue just to do it anyway.
Single life is as it always is....single. I realize that I'm not the tallest guy in the world or the most
handsome. I don't have perfect teeth nor am I the leanest and most muscular person in the world and
so I have to be perfect were other guys aren't. I have had to work on the other things. Most things
come naturally to those other guys. Jerks can get away with most things and always get the girl but us good guys have to be perfect and do all the other things right to have a chance and...sometimes even then it's not good enough. Love is not something you can manufacture. Case in point:
I had this really pretty girl laughing and blushing and having a great time today. I even made her
snort she was trying so hard not to laugh but....a guy with a British accent came by and said a few
words and she went bonkers. She told me that if I had an accent she would totally jump all over me
but instead I just sounded like "a white guy." Ummm...well, that's because I AM a white guy. I
didn't really have a choice in the matter. I was born that way. The rest of the day went to hell a
little but it's all good. I will pick myself up and look for someone wanting an average guy that is
ready for the simple things in life that make it worth getting up in the morning.
* A wife to yell at me to empty the trash and help clean the house and love me.
* A family with lots of kids to come home to and get Father's day&Anniversary cards
* Wear or hang up stuff my kids or wife buys me even though it looks horrible (while smiling)
* Inlaws
* Family BBQs and holidays watching football and telling stories.
* Watching my kids play sports....or not
* Looking forward to coming home every night, kissing my wife and kids
* Putting the kids to bed and then finishing out the day cuddling by the fire or watching the news
on the couch with the wife. (You can't put a price tag on moments like those)
You can have all the rest. The bars, the men and their accents, the failed relationships, the broken
hearts. You can have it all and I won't say a thing. I don't need to be world to every woman.
I just want to be the world to one and a father to my kids. If you can have these things then you
are truly a rich man by all definitions. This is what I think about when I'm feeling down and when
I don't want to get up after falling. It's this hope that makes me keep trying for I know when I
finally obtain these things I will appreciate them more. I will be a very happy and fulfilled person.
That's worth fighting for I think. So, I will fight for it. I will not quit. There is no quit. This good
guy will not finish last. "The first shall be made last and the last shall be made first." That's what
the good book says and I believe it. I have always been picked last all my life. I have always been
picked over someone else or some sweet smelling rose. Roses are great but they have their thorns
I'm told. I'm used to not being picked or being overlooked. I'm used to being hurt and feeling
pain. It's shaped me into the kind of person I am very proud of and also very stuck with so I have
to make the best of things with what I can offer. I rest in the solice of knowing that when those
roses encounter Winter or storm....I have already done it. I've been in their shadow. They will
falter and their smell won't be as sweet. If I hadn't gone through the things I had to go through
then I would not be ready. Sadness and hurt have shaped me into something that can not only
survive when those seasons come again....but something that can prosper. Doesn't sound so bad
when you look at it that way.
A wise man once told me, "Never overlook an orchid while searching for a rose." You never know
when that orchid, though not as good looking or sweet smelling, may be just the person you've
been looking for your whole life. I don't know about you but I'm proud to be an orchid, I wouldn't
have it any other way.
-Thork
that they could send teddy bears and stuff to people in the military. It took like 5 minutes for
them to call back and tell me how to proceed and I completed my order. I'm excited and hope that
the person I sent it too really likes it. She's a wonderful person and friend. This is going to be a
great year even though I have so many bad days. Maybe this year I can have a few good ones. It
makes me feel good to do something that makes someone smile and feel good about themselves
because I usually don't feel that way about myself. More on this later.
I want to keep this blog open to my friends and I guess just anyone really. I may withhold names so
as to protect the people I care about but you will get the idea....hell, I might even make up names
for them myself. This is basically going to be an insight into my world and everything that
flows through my head. I go through times of depression and then I snap out of it for a little while
with the help of good friends and family. I don't really have a very close friend though. I would
really like that. Maybe, in time, we'll both understand a little bit more about just who I am and
we can appreciate it for what it is. I'd say that all of my close friends have been found online at
a little place called Dragonmount. I have so many mixed feelings about that wonderful place.
On the one hand, I have met some wonderful people that have made me smile and feel a little
better about things in life. It's also brought it's share of sad times but you know what? If there is
one thing that you will learn very quickly about me is that I never give up no matter what happens.
The word doesn't exist. Perspective is everything in life and I know that my purpose is to be as
much of a blessing to people as I possibly can.
I do sometimes feel very isolated even though there are people around me saying wonderful things.
I somehow always find a way to keep myself from joining in fully due to not feeling that I'm
really apart of something. Essentially, my warped brain keeps telling me there is one big party and
I'm not invited so.....I crash it instead. :) I enjoy those times when I'm involved and then wonder
back off until I feel adventurious again. I know it's there when I want to come back but, for me,
the safest place to be is in the wild or in nature watching from afar. Not that I'm not clever or
witty and maybe sometimes I'm even charming...usually those are just masks. I'm the comedian,
the dancer, the ice cream man, the nice guy, the fun guy, this, that, and the other but none of it
is truly all of who I am. Underneath, there lies a deep ocean of a person that even I'm just now
fully understanding. Underneath...there is still a lot of hurt and anger and sadness from everything
in life. I have a temper that can both burn red hot and freeze like a Winter breeze. I can be calm
and quiet and warm when I'm with my friends and feeling in tune with them. I keep people at a
distance in general and even my friends are so close yet so far away due to nothing they've said or
did. It's just me.
The highlight of my year was when I received 13 Christmas cards from all over the world. That
really meant a lot to me and so I read them when I'm having a bad day to remind myself of just
how lucky I am to have such people care enough about me to do that. I even got a present from
someone without even asking for it. As I said, this could be a very good year as I feel a lot more
at ease and not so blah blah all the time. God, I know how my friends get so damn tired of hearing
it. I know I would but I continue just to do it anyway.
Single life is as it always is....single. I realize that I'm not the tallest guy in the world or the most
handsome. I don't have perfect teeth nor am I the leanest and most muscular person in the world and
so I have to be perfect were other guys aren't. I have had to work on the other things. Most things
come naturally to those other guys. Jerks can get away with most things and always get the girl but us good guys have to be perfect and do all the other things right to have a chance and...sometimes even then it's not good enough. Love is not something you can manufacture. Case in point:
I had this really pretty girl laughing and blushing and having a great time today. I even made her
snort she was trying so hard not to laugh but....a guy with a British accent came by and said a few
words and she went bonkers. She told me that if I had an accent she would totally jump all over me
but instead I just sounded like "a white guy." Ummm...well, that's because I AM a white guy. I
didn't really have a choice in the matter. I was born that way. The rest of the day went to hell a
little but it's all good. I will pick myself up and look for someone wanting an average guy that is
ready for the simple things in life that make it worth getting up in the morning.
* A wife to yell at me to empty the trash and help clean the house and love me.
* A family with lots of kids to come home to and get Father's day&Anniversary cards
* Wear or hang up stuff my kids or wife buys me even though it looks horrible (while smiling)
* Inlaws
* Family BBQs and holidays watching football and telling stories.
* Watching my kids play sports....or not
* Looking forward to coming home every night, kissing my wife and kids
* Putting the kids to bed and then finishing out the day cuddling by the fire or watching the news
on the couch with the wife. (You can't put a price tag on moments like those)
You can have all the rest. The bars, the men and their accents, the failed relationships, the broken
hearts. You can have it all and I won't say a thing. I don't need to be world to every woman.
I just want to be the world to one and a father to my kids. If you can have these things then you
are truly a rich man by all definitions. This is what I think about when I'm feeling down and when
I don't want to get up after falling. It's this hope that makes me keep trying for I know when I
finally obtain these things I will appreciate them more. I will be a very happy and fulfilled person.
That's worth fighting for I think. So, I will fight for it. I will not quit. There is no quit. This good
guy will not finish last. "The first shall be made last and the last shall be made first." That's what
the good book says and I believe it. I have always been picked last all my life. I have always been
picked over someone else or some sweet smelling rose. Roses are great but they have their thorns
I'm told. I'm used to not being picked or being overlooked. I'm used to being hurt and feeling
pain. It's shaped me into the kind of person I am very proud of and also very stuck with so I have
to make the best of things with what I can offer. I rest in the solice of knowing that when those
roses encounter Winter or storm....I have already done it. I've been in their shadow. They will
falter and their smell won't be as sweet. If I hadn't gone through the things I had to go through
then I would not be ready. Sadness and hurt have shaped me into something that can not only
survive when those seasons come again....but something that can prosper. Doesn't sound so bad
when you look at it that way.
A wise man once told me, "Never overlook an orchid while searching for a rose." You never know
when that orchid, though not as good looking or sweet smelling, may be just the person you've
been looking for your whole life. I don't know about you but I'm proud to be an orchid, I wouldn't
have it any other way.
-Thork
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